i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize