You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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