Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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