the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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