I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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