Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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