Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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