also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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