he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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