Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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  (908): my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation http://tfl.nu/55rf
  Replies (12) Good night (1590) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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  (856): i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again. http://tfl.nu/ts1b
  Replies (17) Good night (545) Bad night (2273) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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  (616): I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one... http://tfl.nu/uf1v
  Replies (16) Good night (570) Bad night (5090) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (478) Bad night (4750) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

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  (910): Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut. http://tfl.nu/hcrb
  Replies (21) Good night (6313) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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  (613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g
  Replies (23) Good night (4931) Bad night (795)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (983) Bad night (2216) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?

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  (989): Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door? http://tfl.nu/0vtl
  Replies (5) Good night (1355) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

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  (203): Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid. http://tfl.nu/8q4l
  Replies (7) Good night (2087) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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  (778): I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin! http://tfl.nu/eqwy
  Replies (9) Good night (925) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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  (512): Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants. http://tfl.nu/4z6l
  Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

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  (416): BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me. http://tfl.nu/xkbl
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.

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  (703): After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was. http://tfl.nu/omxm
  Replies (1) Good night (1217) Bad night (278)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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  (505): Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit. http://tfl.nu/tchi
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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