She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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