Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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