I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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