I never want to see another naked old woman again.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize