When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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