I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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