If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize