so explain again why im purple
no
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
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Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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