you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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