May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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