she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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