I just threw up on my dentist
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize