its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize