the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize