I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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