yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize