the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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