I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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