I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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