I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize