The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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