i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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