booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize