After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Who died my cat blue again?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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