then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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