I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize