he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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