After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize