my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize