But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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