i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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