is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Holy shit dude........stairs
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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