garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My vagina is officially offended.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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