My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize