Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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