There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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