happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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