CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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