I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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