Only a mothe r could love this liver
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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